This is just the notorious First Post.

I have changed to a new server and in that change I have moved from TextPattern to WordPress. It may be that I change to something else, or back again, in the future, but for now I’m going to give this one a go.

I will add some of the better old posts into this system, but the original dates will be discarded to make the transition easier. It’s not like millions of people are reading this just yet!

I went to a Naturopath today, in an effort to find out 1) if I really have a gluten allergy 2) what vitamins/minerals I might actually be deficient in and 3) what I can do to make my body healthier.

So, off I went to see Jeremy Hill at Essential Health.

Here are the results:

Body Composition
Ideal Weight (kg)	88.64
Weight (kg)	78
Skeletal Tissue (kg)	10.64
Ideal ECW (l)	17.73
Frame Size	Medium
Body Mass Index	20.51
Fat Mass
Fat (kg)	12.02
Ideal Fat Mass (kg)	15.95
% of Total Weight	15.41
% OF Ideal Fat Mass	75.35
Difference from Ideal (kg)	-3.93
Active Tissue Mass
ATM (kg)	35.87
Ideal ATM (kg)	44.32
% of Total Weight	45.99
% of Ideal ATM	75.35
Difference from Ideal (kg)	-8.45
Fluid Balance
Total Body Water (l)	46.84
Total Body Water %	60.06
IntraCellular Water (l)	26.40
IntraCellular Water %	56.36
ExtraCellular Water (l)	20.44
ExtraCellular Water %	43.64
Optimal Health indicators
Phase Angle	6
% of Avg. Phase Angle	83.28
ATM Quality Index	0.76
Cellular Fluid Balance	21.27
Patient Age	32
Biomarker Index	30.69
Fat Distribution Index	Normal
Fat Muscle Ratio	0.34
Basal Metabolic Rate	1892

So I’m pretty skinny (low fat), kinda scrawny (low ATM), youngish and well watered. All in all, roughly where I thought I would be. Although having to put on ~4kg of fat was surprise.

I also have a heart beat, 54 bpm, and blood that is 97% oxygenated. Which is really good.

I guess I am not a Vampire after all :(

When are you happiest memories?

The majority of people would say, “When I was a kid!” or “Back in the Old Days, when things were good.” And what is the primary objective of childhood? Growth. What is the harbinger of the end of childhood? Adulthood.

• You’re old enough to know better.
• You’re not a kid any more.
• Congratulations! You graduated top of the class!

In other words, celebrate! The learning period is over! You no longer need to grow! Your knowledge of the world is enough that you will be able to live like the rest of us! Welcome to the ranks of Adulthood - Where you’ll be too busy worrying about dying to think about living.

The last time I remember being fantastically happy was when I was learning a language. It was amazing, nothing was too much trouble. I made changes to my work regime, I changed my spending habits so I could afford to go to class, I fantasised about travelling to the country in which the language was spoken. It was a blast. Until I started telling people about it.

• You’re doing what?
• Why would you want to do that?
• Isn’t it expensive?
• When would you ever need to use it?
• I could never find the time to do that!

You get the idea. I bet you could even add some to the list that you are thinking right now! If you’re an adult, chances are you have Adult Thinking Technology. It’s what you get when you are exposed to masses of adults who already have ATT. It’s the worrying. It’s the Competing with the Jones. It’s the continual focus on the financial difficulties of living as an adult. It’s believing that the world is actually like the TV news - that thieves and brigands are waiting just around the corner with a picture of you in their pocket and it’s only a matter of time before they find you.

It’s how we kill our children. Somewhere along the line something happens in all of us, something sinister. We start to force children to change into adults. Santa-Claus isn’t real. The Tooth Faerie is really your mother. Life is serious, stop fooling around and pay attention in school. You don’t want to be like uncle Jeff do you? And the clincher, - If I had the opportunities you have I could have done so much more with my life. (This last one is just so damn evil in so many ways it defies logic that a loving parent would even contemplate saying it at all) What is happening is that the adults need to convince the children that the growing period is coming to an end. That resistance is futile. That there is no better way.

The reason adults do it is because they themselves don’t want to know that they have given up. The idea that life plateaus in adulthood is comforting. It’s nice to know that you can take it easy. That your situation is not your fault. Those people who keep succeeding; they’re just trouble makers, they never grew up like we did, they are only able to do it because they had rich parents, went to the right schools or were just lucky in life. What a load of tripe! Life is hard because adults make it so. They create situations for themselves that very neatly fit into their perception of reality. More importantly they do it without realising it, without wanting to know they are doing it, and consequently they congregate. Little groups are formed, they grow and before you know it, you have an entire community ready and willing to accept and convert new arrivals. Can anyone say: Caste System, Socio-economic grouping,  Target Audience.

It works for the successful ones too. There are all kinds of ways to work within your own limits, just think of your best friend. But whatever you do, don’t think about yourself.

Those of us with ATT have just shut off.

It’s ok, they might join us later, then again… they might not.

The purpose of life is growth.

Without growth there is no life, there is only existence.

My true purpose in life is to continue to grow, to continue to improve, to realise that where I am now can easily be changed by accepting it, understanding it, learning from it and then moving past it - growing in another direction using the knowledge gained from this experience.

There must be evaluation, acceptance, understanding and learning for growth and happiness to exist.

Happiness is growth.

Growth is happiness.

I read an article about the physical effects of stress on the human body and it seems reasonably believable. I have long held the belief that my Asthma is largely in my head and when I forget to “have” Asthma it seems to go away. That is, until someone reminds me, be it a verbal or mental cue.

For instance, when I cross the threshold of my mother’s house I used to always get some kind of breathing problems. I used to think that it was because of the way she keeps house but on reflection there are times when I haven’t touched anything - not picked up a cat, not wiped my eyes after moving a chair, nothing - and still, like clockwork, my lungs fill with gunk and I need a little puff on the reliever.

The idea of my mind being tied to my brain being tied to my body is not a new one. I’m not sure how, exactly, they became separated but it seems to me that common sense rarely makes an appearance when groups don’t talk to each other. Perhaps it made early discoveries easier in the beginnings of understanding how we work, either way I had a topic to discuss.

So in the case of my Asthma there is some history that bears relevance:

• I have had Asthma since I was born
• As a child I remember having the occasional hospitalisation due to Asthma attacks, which became less frequent as I grew older
• I have preventative medicine which I take at such low doses the doctor who proscribed it was of two minds as to whether it was needed or not
• I carry the reliever in my car and have one in the bathroom

But when I think back on the times that I remember having difficulty breathing, they seem to coincide with the onset of anxiety. The above mentioned facts can also be explained through brain washing. Over time the continual repetition that, “I have Asthma” and am therefore restricted in my abilities becomes it’s own self-fulfilling prophesy.

I mean, I remember one time I was playing a game of basketball and the period when I usually required the Ventolin pump was rapidly approaching and I went to mum to get it (on the side lines) and she wouldn”t give it me (I later found out that a bunch of other mothers had coaxed her to not give it me). I remember the look I gave her and then gruginly continued to play the game. I swapped positions with a team mate to let him take the bounce at the start of the second half and he managed to push it my way. Well, I went after the ball with gusto and it just happened that the bounce was in the direction of the other team’s goal, so, without thinking of anything else, I chased the ball up.

I suddenly realised, with shock, that I was level with the backboard (it was the adult height, not the kids one) and my eyes were level with the ring. I was so high up that the ring was flat! I let go of the ball (I think it went in, actually) and prepared to land. When I looked up from the landing my whole team was gob-smacked, so was the other team and so was the crowd. I couldn’t believe it!

It was definitely a freak incident. Something that was a one off, but what if it wasn’t. What if I could do that all the time and that all I had to do was not believe the it’s okay to fail, so why don’t you mentality. This is the kind of thinking that is holding me back from doing what I want. Amazing!

So, if this holds true for jumping after balls, breathing with clear lungs and remembering appointments, then there is really nothing in the way of breathing clearly. There is no reason why I need to accept the way I am other than to validate the way that I have been previously which then just supports how I think I should act. The chicken or the egg problem.

I have evolved my own neurosis and manifested it into being because I don’t believe I can act any other way. That’s simply astounding.

It leads back to the idea that the brain is connected to the body and therefore both areas will and can affect each other. If I think I am sick in the right way I will become sick. Which has happened on more than one occasion. There have been times when I have work, work, worked up to a point where I could rest and I had a big rest and WHAM! I got sick. If I expected to forget details, those details would be forgotten. There isn’t a big enough requirement to remember them because it’s something I do.

I wonder what else I have in here (jumbles through his brain) that operates like that. HA! Touch typing. I am doing it now, but not so well. Earlier, when I was on a roll I wasn”t making anywhere near as many mistakes, but now it’s about every third word. Because I can’t touch type is a phrase that I have mentioned many times to myself and others, yet there are times when I can and only when I suddenly realise what I am doing do I start with the glances at the keys, the typing mistakes etc. [I'm doing it now!]

I remember some time ago, in a land far far away, there was a man (well, young man) who had a weekend off.  Free from work!  I am not this man.

9:00am, client rings me on the mobile.  Is his laptop ready yet?  That’s $35 for waking me up, and NO, it isn’t.  So I get up and play with his laptop.  Took me a while to find something wrong with it, but I did.  So I tried my account on it and it went straight through and worked perfectly (of course).  His account doesn’t seem to want to work.  So I rang him.  He has had his iNet account disabled.  Nice one cretin!  Right, that’s fixed then.  Just get your account enabled and everything should work fine.  Call me tomorrow if it doesn’t.

Rocked up at Dr. J.’s place at 12:00pm to be greeted by Santaclaus (ok, it was Dr. J. in a bathrobe).  Oh, you weren’t serious about getting here at lunch time?  Tough.

I locked my keys in the car.  That kept me entertained while Dr. J. woke up.

Well, I then spent the next six hours writing ASP code to get an advanced search page working.  Thankfully I was taking it slow and easy, for I knew that while my brain and body were functioning neither was truly running at optimum speed.

Dinner wasn’t very exciting.  I think I ended up eating a tin of two fruits (pear and peach cubes) and (later) a pastie.  All hail the pastie packet!  It’s too hot to make anything, even if I had anything to make something with.

Drove back from Lysse’s.  Had a shower and was out the door by 1:00pm.

Arrived, ready for work, at Dr. J.’s and began building an advanced search page for a web site.  This site is going to be displayed to the purchaser on Monday.  Yes, he DID leave it a little late, didn’t he?

Half-way through the page, we decided to build (upgrade) the machine I was on to a Pentium 200.  Brilliant idea.  Bad choice.  Three hours later I hade a new machine with Windows 98 freshly installed (it used to be Windows 95) sigh.  Will boys ever learn to leave things alone until after they are being used.

I think not.

Dinner was take away.  Well, Dr. J. got Vietnamese take away food and brought it to me, does that still class it as take away?  More like brought to you.  Anyway it was nice.

After that, we went night clubbing.  Dr. J., Turtle Girl, The Unknown Soldier and myself all went to The Loft.  The music was great, there were tons of people there and we didn’t leave until 4:00am.

Arrived at work at 9:00am.  Did three systems before Atoning and Hypatia arrived.  After last night I am not feeling much compassion for the office gerbils.  So what if they can’t do their work because the idiot on the server machine (that is his PC) keeps stuffing it up.

Dinner?  What dinner?  I have no idea what I ate.  I think I just fell asleep.  Oh, hang on, that’s a lie.  I drove down to Lysse’s mum’s place (with Lysse) and we watched Wild Things and THEN fell asleep.

Late start to work today, because we are expecting to stay late so we can switch the network over to TCP/IP.

Which means Atoning will setup the network 100% the easy way.  Then, when we reach the testing part (about the 95% mark) something will go wrong that will be bad enough to have to start it all over again, except this time going the hard way.

Whaddayanoe (What do you know)?  We left the office around 11:00pm.

Dinner was great though!  I had chicken vindaloo with rice and “naans” that we got from the Royal Indian restaurant.  It was beautiful food!

Sorry, I have absolutely no idea what I did today.  mostly mundane work things I expect.

Alas, dinner has also been erased from my databanks, which leads me to believe it is a good thing.

« go back — keep looking »

Recently Written

• The Invisible Cages of Belief
• Naturopath Visit #4
• Off to Paris
• Naturopath Visit #3
• January 1999 flashback
• I’m sick of this crap
• Old Diary - Dec 1998
• How the Money System works
• Naturopath Visit #2
• I’m on the Hug Program

Categories

• General
• Growing Up
• Holidays
• Making changes
• Naturopath
• Old Diary
• Self Discovery
• Sociology

Archives

• July 2008
• June 2008
• April 2008
• March 2008
• February 2008
• January 2008
• November 2007
• September 2007
• February 2007
• January 1999
• December 1998

Blogroll

• Lumilux - Fantastic Photography
• The Parenting Pit
• William Gibson

Admin

• Log in
• Wordpress
• XHTML

Search